Orissa Chronicles

The train from Chennai to Bhubaneshwar was our longest yet......20 hours we had to spend on there! But it had its events that kept us occupied. For the most part we read. We actually both finished a novel, which for me is a big achievement, 1 book, 1 day, 1 love. The characters that shared the cabin with us on the train definately deserve a mention. 1st of all there was baboon man, hairiest mo'fo' Ive ever seen.....He was with his wife and kept giving it the big one (thought he was 10 men for people lacking slang). He complained about the chai (tea) being too expensive at 5 rupees, which is the normal price throughout India, remind you of someone you know??? Next was a 13 and a half year old (his words) lad. He was propa pimped out! Fancy shirt, suit trousers, gold socks haha. What a lad. And finally two weirdo's hoggin the window seat, didnt say a word throughout! 20 hours! Not one word. (Wish Maj was that fucking quiet). About half way to our destination the train began to slow, no idea why? And we heard a commotion in the cabin behind us. I went to have a nosey and discovered that one of the passengers had grabbed a mobile phone that was on charge next to the open train doors, jumped out of the train, and bucked it bare foot across the train tracks! We found it quite amusing, baboon man (not his phone by the way) got himself involved, giving it the big one, but no-one took pursuit. He was long gone. Lesson learnt.

So we arrived in Puri. We got hustled by station security cuz we didnt have the correct ticket, no fault of ours. He only charged us for one ticket though, so it didnt turn out so bad. The beach in Puri was..............Shit. No literallly shit, we walked for at least a kilometer and there was Indian after Indian, squatting, crapping and wiping there bare batty in the sea. We were disgusted but found out later, when you gotta go, you gotta gooooo! However, we did find a lovely part of beach (poo free) but this time it was covered with crabs, thousands of the lil' nippers. By the way crabs are so funny to watch, the way they do there little sideways shuffle into their holes.

The next day we went and got some toast from a nearby restaurant, Bamboo hut or sumet? Whilst we were eating we saw one of the workers (about 13/14) taking a sly sit nap on the table opposite (it was quiet, so no harm done). His boss caught him, and poured a little water into his hand, walked upto the lad and straight bitch slapped him across the face! Me and Maj were dying in hysterics. Also, that restaurant was nearly Maj’s final resting place, when he got a piece of bone lodged in his throat. It was actually quite scary because I didn’t feel like carrying the bag by myself all day. The owner gave him a little bread to dislodge it, and the panic was over. Nothing to write home about really, he could breathe o.k. Afterwards we collected our hire bike and made a 36km mission over to Konark to visit the Sun Temple and check out the beaches there (which ended up being crab and poo free, relief.) The sun Temple was built in the mid-13th century by Orissian king Narashimhadev 1, to celebrate his victory over the Muslims (Majid wasn't too pleased). It was a great structure, but erosion and time had gotten the best of it, and it was held together by much scaffold. The detail on the walls of the temple were still distinguishable and at close inspection were very rude indeed. Pornographic infact (I got pictures for you John, don't worry). We took 5 minutes rest in the garden area, where yet another Majid moment occurred. If you didnt already know, Majid is one clumsy lad. (If you have been lucky enough to witness the Jack moment, you will understand, same context, different idiot). On the way back to Puri, we came across a huge line of traffic and because we had a motorbike, we went straight to the front where a bike has collided with a college girl. Instead of people moving out the way, they decided to have a road strike, one that had been going on for about 4 hours and there was no way across. If people did try getting across, guys with sticks started chasing after you chanting some next tribal lingo, so it wasn't a good idea. After a bit, a guy realised we were tourists, so the head of union offered to drive us across, but a big group of people stopped us with mean faces. After a big argument, and words of wisdom from the grand pooba, they decided to let us through and we were on our way. The motorbike we had was a bit weak, and it kept cutting out (because of petrol flooding we suspect) plus it was getting dark. A couple of times, locals sucked on the petrol valve to get it moving (notice how we didn’t try that method) which got us back to Puri in the end.

Orissa Photo Link:
http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1719264011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

Tamil Nadu

Tamil Nadu is a state and we visited several places; Madurai, Trichy, Pondicherry and Chennai. First stop Madurai- We got there in the afternoon and usually Me and Danny book a few train tickets in advance when we know how long we're going to stay in each place. So we went to the reservation office, where I was served y a guy who was a comedian, trying to pull all the jokes with his limited english. Anyway, after reading my name, he asked for my address and send that I am a tourist. His reply to that was "Are you a tourist or a terrorist?" I started laughing because that was quite quick for him but the cheeky fucker!

We stayed at a place called Sri Devi (315 rps for the night), which was next to the Sri Meenakshi Temple, which was a few temples in one massive complex. We didn't really do much in the afternoon because we were tired from our train journey. So in the evening we went to see the Sound ad light show (in english) at the Tirumalai Nayak Palace, which was just basically a story about this king, and how he was the best king ever-How typical! When we walked back from the temple, we were met by a big croud, who were there trying to get a blessing from the elephant in the temple, who was roaming around in the streets thinking he were cool. Danny was desperate for a blessing so i stretched out to a 0.5 rupee coin (we're on a budget) and the elephant sucked the coin out of Danny's hand, leaving it all gooey and tapped him on the head with his trunk (this was the blessing bit, not because we were being tight) and passed the coin back to his trainer. His owner must be proud of the elephant but the blessing left Danny giddy all night.

The next morning, we got the train to Trichy (not much hanging about for us) and getting a place to stay was a bit tricky because everything was full. We managed to find a place, after about an hour (Vijay Hotel) which was in the middle of the city so it was very noisy. We dropped our bags in the room and went for something to eat at Banana Leaf, which was like KFC. Me and Danny have been feasting on curry since we got here so we treated ourselves big. We met a couple of travelers at the train station, who said there wasn't much to see at Trichy but we decided to trust the Lonely Planet and go and see the rock fort temple. This temple was on top of this huge rock (hence the name), which was surrounded by a busy market. We climbed up the steps (450 approx.) to the top, where we saw bats sleeping and chilling on the ceiling. We ended up chilling on this huge rock for a while admiring the view because we were so high up, where we met this guy called Mohammed, who became our new friend for the next hour. He offered to get on the local bus with us to our hotel and even offered to paid. What a nice guy but he said he did all this for our friendship. Free travel can have our friendship any day lol. Getting on the local buses is an experience in itself but it doesn't help when an old man is sat there staring at us, especially me for some reason, with his jaw nearly hitting the floor. We tried to get a pic but the bus drivers are not very smooth over here so we failed.

Our next stop was Pondicherry, which is a town influenced by the french, where there are still many french people living there. We got there early afternoon and it took us a while to find a place (and it was very hot with our bags on = extra effort) but the whole town is set on a grid system (like the ones in America), so it takes a bit loner getting around. We stayed at Mothers Guest House (600 rps for 2 nights). The room was a bit small but we were too tired to walk anymore so we settled for this. The beach, which is why we came here, wasn't to boast about, as there were big rocks on the shore. So we walked around and explored the town. There were huge white buldings and the place was clean, which isn't like India at all but after a 5 min walk deeper into town, it's India again. It's weird because the town seems to be split with the posh near the coast and the locals on the other side. With the beach not being as good as we expected, we hired a motorbike the next day (200 rps for the day) and rode North for another 12km. The locals called it Hollywood beach but this beach was ideal for us because there were no tourists there, only local fishermen on their boats and the women packing them on the shore. We went back to the town for some food but we returned later for a dip, as it was hot, and we ran out of petrol no where near a petrol station. After holding a long conversation with the locals, which was a mission, we found out that the newsagents, yes it sells fags, sweets, top up cards etc, sells petrol in water bottles. Classic!!We put a litre in and we were on our way.

Next morning, we were on our way to Chennai, it took us a bit longer then we had intended on an overcrowded train. We booked a couple of more train tickets when we got there, but they had a special counter for foreign tourists, which was a 'piss take'. It would have been quicker booking them in the normal que with the locals, but this way, we get guaranteed seats. We stayed at a place called Horizon Guest House (450 rupees 1 night) which was a little over our budget but everywhere was fully booked or overpriced. We got on the local bus, which is always a laugh, to the posh end of town to collect a lonely planet China book and ended up eating at Subway in a shopping mall. I was dying for some proper bread and that could have been the best sandwich I've ever had. On our way back to our hotel, we were trying to flag a local bus, but they were all full so we walked for about 30 minutes, harassing the auto rickshaw drivers, who always try to charge us too much. Me and danny were telling them to put the meter on but they refused to and drove off. That's how bad these guys are. We managed to run onto a bus, with it's doors open, felt like one of the locals Ha.

I just want to share a transformation that I am seeing. For those of you who know Danny, know what type of person he is, but on this journey he is starting to transform. Last week he couldn't get his head out of a sudoku book and this week, he wont get his head out of a book. What a Geek!! He's even started using bigger words like 'this' and 'is' in his vocabulary. Im sure his parents would be very proud!!

Tamil Nadu Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.co.uk/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1686923011/a=2264773011_2264773011/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfishuk/

A dedication to my favourite Bhangra track.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NewWorczODc

Check out the sick sideward moonwalk!!! Whaaaat!!!

Southern State of Kerala

So after another long haul we finally get back to the sands of India. The beach of Verkala, located on the far southern coast of the state of Kerala turned out to be a gem. We stayed at MK Gardens for 600Rs for two nights. The hotel was located on the top of a giant cliff face, which looked out upon the beach and the ocean. The stairs leading down to the beach were a bit of a hassle, especially as we were both in 'chill mode'. But our time there was definately well spent, and was in our favour when we compared it to the beaches of Goa. The waves here were very powerfull, and got quite intimidating just 50 meters out. At one point I was knocked over by one of the waves and I swear it nearly snapped me in half, and im hench! (had an aching back the next day too). The beach had an awesome view of the red coloured cliffs that were topped with all of the restaurants and residences of the area. We had a kick around with some Indian lads (bare foot) who managed to get their hands on a propa footy. One was pretty decent, always attempting the catch on the back of the neck trick. The other was comparible to Marcus's footy skills - Siccckkkkk! At one point he booted the footy high in the air and it hit a sunbathing tourist clean on the head.....I was closest at the time and got the blame, in which I instantly pointed and ratted out the Indian dude, I aint got a kick that crooked my man.
We caught a train towards Alleppey. Famous for its labyrinth of canals and lakes which serves as the cities main means of transportation. On the train we bumped into a well-spoken english lad who went by the name of Rex. He informed us that his cousin owned one the hotels in Alleppey and also free transport from the train station before and after the stay. We agreed to see the rooms, which were small bamboo huts (a lot nicer than image you are picturing in your head). The place was really friendly and supplied us with a great deal for a boat/canoe tour of the backwaters. The boat ride was both one of mine and Majid's favourite parts of our time spent in India thus far. It was peaceful, eye-opening and we were treat to an incredible sunset towards the end of the tour. The sun was massive. We in turn helped our boat guide, Sabu, paddle around the backwaters, when I was paddeling and Maj was lounging in the center of the boat, we got a lot of attention from the other boats passing by, especially the Indian tourists, 'Hows that fellow managed to get a white paddler' they wondered. It made us laugh.
Our final days in Kerala was spent in Kochi or Cochin as it also known. There wasnt a great deal to report from this place. We took a ferry ride from the major city of Ernakalum to Kochi, which cost only 2.50Rs. We stayed at the Oy's homestay. A lovely little place with a very helpfull bunch of guys working there. This cost 300Rs for the night. We ended up just hanging around here throughout the majority of our time spent in Kochi. We will be continuing on this evening to our next state, Tamil Nadu, on a 12 hour train ride from Ernakalum to Madurai. Not too psyched about the travelling to be fair. But you gotta have some lows on a journey with so many highs.

Kerala Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1664219011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

Mysore and Diwali

We slept through most of the 10 hour train journey from Bangalore to Mysore, on the sleeper class (Carriages that have 8 beds on them, quite comfortable actually). Mysore is quite a small city, with everything in walking distance, so the use of autorickshaws wasn't needed here (Even still the drivers tried enticing us into every car we passed, very annoying). We only planned to stay here for the one night but because of the Diwali festival (festival of lights, that runs for 3 days beginning on Saturday 17th) the train back to Bangalore was fully booked, so we were stuck here for 2 nights. It was no big deal, the city had a fair bit to see, and was famous for its traditional paintings and its silk, sandalwood and incense production. We ate at a very fancy restaurant on the first evening called Tiger Trail. We were definately under-dressed for the occasion, but we had no shame, flip-flopped and shorted out, we ate with all the formally dressed tourists.

On the Friday we jumped on the bus to Chamundi Hill, which, to the top, is 8km away from the city. Like most high places in India we had some amazing views from the summit. We were also told by Indian fellow (who took a rather long time to translate and we are still a little unsure of what he was rambling on about) that Mysore was designed by the English, and set out in a gridded structure (which we copied from America). We then descended the 1000 steps to the bottom of the hill, passing a large statue of Nandi (the God Shiva's, bull vehicle). It may seem like 1000 steps is a long haul, but it didn't turn out so bad.

Our final day in Mysore was spent visiting the Maharaja's Palace. Costing 200rps for whitey, and only 20rps for Paki. Lol. The design of the Palace was to some immense detail, with carvings and paintings surrounding every wall and ceiling and pillar within the Palace. I think the Maharaja's favourite colour may have been gold, over did it just a little.

Our next train takes us back to Bangalore to catch our connection train down to Ernakulum in the state of Kerala. Back to the beach we gooooooo!

Mysore Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1655384011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

Hampi - The 21st century Bedrock

We arrived in Hampi around 4ish in the afternoon, after a 7 hour train ride (650rps). When we got there, it was clear that this was a holy place with police protecting this tiny town. We managed to get a room at Venu Guest House for 250 rps, but that was after 4 guesthouses neighbouring each other trying to entice us into their guesthouses, but we went for the cheapest and simple option. We got there a little early so we chucked our bags into our room and headed towards the temples at the far end of the bazaar (town). We first saw the Nandi statue, which wasn't too impressive but the boulders behind (about 8-10m high and wide) on top of each other with wild monkeys jumping from one to other was what got us. We carried on walking gawping at the size of these boulders without realsing the Vitali Temple was beyond them. It was hidden behind these boulders and me and Danny were amzed by the size of this temple. It was huge and still in good nick. Anyway, after taking a few pics and exploring the temple, Danny with his 'eagle eyes' saw a temple at the top of this huge hill. You kno0w what Danny's like, next thing i was following him up this hill, which was very steep and caused me to sweat a lot (not good) up these crooked stairs, which were stairs carved out of the Boulders but when we got there, the view of the wholoe town was amazing. You could see all the temples in the surrounding area and across the river, where Danny with his 'eagle eye' yet again saw the Hanuman (monkey god) temple on top of another hill at the other side of the river. I don't know what's up with this kid but I'm a big lad and this aint good on the old knees.

The next day, we got up early, had some breakfast and got a boat across the river (15 rps each) Today was the day where Danny had enough of these Indians, trying to rip us off because we're tourists, so that meant I had to walk with Danny to this temple and climb a 1000 steps in the heat, gasping for air, which took us 1 1/2 hour and probably lost a stone. When we got there, we saw a few Baba's who lived there and looked after the temples and then sat on the boulder's admiring the view and me getting my breath back. There were a few locals who advised us to go to see the Sranipur lake, which was about another hour walk, in the heat yet again but when we got there, we realised it was a man-made reservoir, apparently with crocodiles in, so we didn't get the chance to swim (not that i had the energy too) and headed back over the river. We then went to see the Virupaksha Temple, which stands at 50m high and is beautifully carved, an the whole town is built around this. Lakshmi (the temple elephant) lives there, so we paid the old fella a visit, with Danny sneaking the camera in (extra cost for the camera) and took some sneaky pics.

With the woman charging us 50 rps to take a shower, we decided to get on the bus for the train. Danny described Hampi as "something out of jungle book" and i describe as "bedrock". You have to be here to experience it all!!!

Hampi Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1658377011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

Goa here.....Goa there.......

Our coach journey from Hyderabad to goa was around 16 hours long and one of the scariest moments of our young lives. At least while driver number two was behing the wheel (because of the distance). We were unable to fall asleep throughout the gruelling road trip, but the rest of the passengers, all Indian of course, were out for the count. The manouvres that driver number 2 pulled off had us constantly watching the road ahead, in preperation for a fatality :( Quite funny when we look back on it.......wasn't at the time though. Another funny part of this coach journey worth mentioning was how everyone, except for the 2 guys sat in front of us, had their seats fully reclined, and they reclined a helluva long way back! Me and Maj refused them the space........standard ting.

We got to Goa in one piece and took a taxi 30km North to Arambol beach (Costing us 500 rps in case you were interested). This was away from the so-called tourists beaches. The area had a very serene setting to it, with only a handfull of tourists (European mainly)......(quite fit europeans mainly). We were so exhausted on our arrival that we did nothing but hang out down at the beach for the day. We stayed at La Caydens guest house for 1000rps for the three nights.

The following day we had an early start. We had breakfast, which ended up a lousy few pieces of toast, and a tasty fruit smoothie. Then we hired a 200cc motorbike for 250rps (thats like 4 quid, with an extra 100rps towards the days petrol). We cruised down the coast to check out the supposed tourists beaches and also purchase a sim card so we could contact you lovely people back home. (This cost 150rps for the sim, and we topped it up by 300rps. Calls to the u.k cost only 10rps a min, airtel network). We didnt hang around here long as the beach sucked. Instead we found a great spot at Vagator beach, real quiet, clean and a had a beautiful surrounding - including an old fort at the top of quite an inclined rocky hill, and you know what Majid is like.....he forced me all the way to the top to check on the views. We were treat to your typical paridise backdrop, golden beaches, blue seas and a flock of palm trees lining the way. A rare moment occured on this fort by the way, somehow, Majid managed to get sunburnt before I did! Unbelievable I know. He deserves a bit of banter for that one me thinks :)

That night we ate at the recommended restaurant 'Rice Bowl' back in Arambol. We had some real good noodle dishes (made a great change from curry, at a reasonable price too). After eating we purchased our train tickets from Goa to Hospet, which cost us 650rps for both of us. I think its worth noting that thats a 7 hour journey too.

Sunday the 11th was spent relaxing at the beach, as we knew the following few days were qoing to be quite tiresome indeed.

We took the public bus Monday morning all the way down to Benalaum Beach in South Goa. Thats cost 79rps each all together for four different bus changes. This journey in Goa alone took 3 hours, that kind of enforces the vast size of this country, in comparison to England. After hanging out our previously hand-washed laundry (yes mothers we miss you dearly) we headed down to the near-by beach (again) and constructed Majid's 1st ever sandcastle! It was a beauty. We had a seafood meal at an oceanside restaurant, grabbed some ice cream for desert, and took an early retire to bed that night. Our mission to the highly praised city of Hampi in the state of Kernataka begins a-morro.

Goa Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1658278011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

The Mosque, Zoo and a Tribute to Driving in India

We woke up the next morning preparing ourselves ready for a big day. We had breakfast at a local restaurant, where Danny advised me to have Puri (a blown-up popadom), which came with a potato curry, surprisingly!! We headed up towards the muslim part of Hyderabad, where we went to see the Charminar and Mecca Masjid. As we were parking up, we were approached by an Indian midget and because I was sat at the front, I was the one who had to deal with it but as I opened the window, Danny shouted “Indian Midget” and I had turn away in laughter, tut tut! Once we got inside the mosque, we sat down for a short while waiting for the others. Krishna got a cup of tea from a young boy, who had to leave his education because he had no money. The boy had a cup of tea with him and they had quite a long conversation, which resulted in the boy taking a shine to him and not asking for any money but Krishna being Krishna, gave him more than enough and the boy’s smile when receiving that money was priceless and that was my first touching moment of the trip.

I was in time to read zuhr namaaz (afternoon prayer) but this meant that I had to wash and this was a mission in itself. I wasn’t flexible enough to get down to wash in this fountain (of bird poo) outside the mosque, So Danny thinking it was funny, started videoing me. Once I prayed, someone showed us around the Mecca Mosque and showed us the reason why the mosque was called ‘Mecca Masjid’. was because it was completed by a small stone from Mecca. We headed straight to the zoo and this is when we saw 22 people crawl out of a 5-seater car. The zoo was huge and surprisingly saw loads of different animals. After this, we treated the boys (Naresh, Krishna, and Venu) to some pizza, where me and Danny made sure we got our moneys worth. Krishna drove on the way home and was overtaken on the left by another driver, this pissed him off and he was determined to gain the lead position over this wanker. The stunts he pulled off were terrifying, Danny slept most of the way through the chase, but woke up just in time to see us avoid a road island by just a few inches. Quite the near death experience. We finished the day by having a quick V.I.P photoshoot at his uncles house and purchasing our coach tickets to our next destination….Goa. Although, we had one more day remaining with the Hyderabad boys, I could sense that there would be whiskey involved on their behalf.

Hyderabad Photo Link:

http://www3.snapfish.com.au/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=1658291011/a=2264773011_2264773011/

The day at the fort

The next morning we planned to visit Golconda Fort, a 16th century fortress built by the Qutb Shahi Kings to protect their people from attacks by the mughels (nothing to do with Harry Potter if your wondering ). Before entering, Krishna, Kiran and Naresh treat me and Hussain (Majids new name, lol) to a sugar cane drink, it was mad sweet, but tasty nevertheless. On entering, I was once again a victim to the tourist entry fee. This time I had to pay 100rps, where the others, including Majids brown ass, only paid 5rps! What kind of hype is that!!! Although, now I can say that it was well worth it. To be fair, it only worked out at about £1.20 anyway, lol, but I was still screwing. The fort has been my best venture in India so far. It was parkour paradise. According to Majid, I was like monkey on ‘crack’ jumping off stairs, roofs or whatever I could find. Krishna was shitting himself on every move I made. Unfortunately we had to stop every five minutes for the unfit duo Nuresh and Kiran but when we got to the top, we could see the whole fort and the whole Hyderabad. There was only one word to describe it, “WOW!

We left the fort and headed back once again to Krishna’s uncles. They had arranged for us to have some food and drinks at their friends farm house. Me and Majid were subject to V.I.P treatment that night. We got to ride in a chauffeur driven 4x4 with 50 cents, in da club, booming out of the speakers. We found it hilarious, especially when Krishna’s uncle Srini gave us a taster of his dance moves. The farm house had an outdoor area for us to eat and drink. Again, I was fed whiskey (that’s 5 nights in a row for me, not good) and we ate loads of food, from fries to chicken nuggets, to samosa’s, to shrimp in spring rolls (my personal fave of the evening). After eating, everyone (myself and Majid included) had a dance to some hip-hop and bangra music, it was the perfect end to an already perfect day.

On our way home, Krishna was pulled over by the police, who were conducting random checks on vehicles. They were trying to say that he didn’t have an up-to-date pollution card (just bullshit really, trying to earn a quick buck, or in this case 200rps). Krishna wasn’t having none of it, so he phoned his uncle, who happens to be good friends with the chief of police. This soon cleared the matter and they let us go. After dropping the car off, I took my first ride in an auto-rickshaw taxi (a yellow, three wheeled, pile of junk basically). Im sure it will be the first of many to come.

Maj (aka Hussain) is finally here!!

I arrived at Hyderabad airport at 7am after getting a domestic flight from Mumbai. It was such a long process from landing in Mumbai to arriving in Hyderabad but I was there and now my long planned trip can start. It starter pretty well with Danny picking me up at 10am (3hrs wait) because they were late coming back from there trip to Visak. Anyway the hustling started soon as I stepped out of the airport, about ten taxi drivers surrounded me asking to drop me off but I stood strong and said no!! After waiting around outside the airport for 3 hours, they picked me up and Krishna was ‘screwing’ because he got fined 100 rupees (£1.20) for not having his seatbelt on. That’s a pretty good deal in my eyes but whatever. It took us about 30 minutes to get to Krishna’s, where I quickly met his family and was whisked away with Danny for lunch at his Uncle’s house. Danny introduced me to the slave that he met a few days ago and it was really weird how he looked part of the family but was paid for his slave duties. Anyway we had rice, with chicken curry and fish curry, which was really nice but me being a numpty, I got a bone lodged in my teeth, which I was trying to get out for 20 minutes but failed. Danny was there laughing at me, while I was getting worried about this bone-very nice of him ey?

After the food, we headed back to Krishna’s to ctach up on some sleep because I was jet lagged and Danny had been on a road trip for the past few days.

We got woken up after about 1-2 hours and was told that Krishna other uncle has prepared us some food at the other side of town. We got introduced to his cousins and his uncles and served us some gorgeous food. Again it was rice but we had prawn curry and chicken curry. This was the first time I had prawn and the curry was gorgeous. After we ate, Me, Danny, Krishna and his cousins and friends sat on the roof just chatting about general life in England. BUT this is when this chat on the roof, turned into a comedy sketch. His uncles Raman, Srivi and Tamu came and joined us and were slightly merry. Srini, the younger uncle was on top form, busting out his English and asking Danny random question but Danny being like he is, he came out with some lyrics and the boys were cackling all night long. Sunil, one of Krisna’s cousins and Srini’s son was ‘boozed’ and was all over Danny. He kept on referring to his uncle as G-O-D and pointing out who his dad was numerous times and then asking for High Five. Funnily enough, this is when I realised, that they were calling me ‘Hussain’ and this is what I was called for the rest of the trip. We were invited for breakfast the next morning and this led us to stay for the night. We was led up by Sunil all ‘boozed’ up, saying that it was his duty to do what we ask and provide us good service. This took him about 30 minutes to tell us this, whilst swaying and asking for high-fives. The good news was that we finally got to bed.

Visakhapatam Road trip

We arranged to go on a 13 hour road trip from Hyderabad to Visakhapatam (east coast) to visit some relatives of Kranthi's. The journey there was a story in itself. We hired a 7 seater car to get there even though there was 9 of us, including a driver. We had to squeeze a little. These Indians are big fans of whiskey, so we basically spent the journey getting pissed. We set off at around 9pm on thursday and arrived at 10am the following day, it wasn't the most comfortable car ride, but the liquor eased the stress. I must mention my newly aquired friend who joined us for the journey, Rajesh (I was calling him Radish). He was a funny fucking guy! A proper mangy! Some of his best quotes include: 'Dog eat cat, cat eat rat, rat eat ant, you see....TEAMWORK!' and also 'we will go visit the Jew' (He meant zoo) :) and finally, ‘look Danny, there is a hen, H…E…N, HEN!

Once we arrived the day had begun, bare in mind we had around 1-2 hours sleep in a cramped car. We visited the beach and I had a tazz around on a motorbike (guess the training back in the endz paid off). It was Kranthi's cousins 18 birthday on this day, so we ate cake and we sang happy birthday for him in English, he was buzzin! Moments after we had finished eating we were called outside to find that there dog had just given birth to 5 pups, this was a first for me and quite the birthday present.

That evening we stayed at a beach house that Krishna's uncle had managed to hook us up with, it was a top notch place, with an incredible view of the Bay of Bengal. Once again that night we had a couple of pegs of whiskey (thats what they call a shot here) with some thums up cola, no miss-spell. The brand is actually owned by coca cola. I reckon we went to sleep around 3am, only to be woken up at 6 fuckin thirty! If you know me well, you'll know I am not a morning person. Regardless, I got up and we took a walk to the beach to watch some local fishermen doing there thing. I also caught a crab! Later that day the guys were informed by locals that 40 people had died in the ocean last night, they were washed away by a wave from their boat. Can guarantee that it won't make the news here, thats how remote this place was.

We drove to a more commercial beach, with a lifeguard on duty, cuz these fella’s cannot swim for shit, looks like its not only black people who suck at swimming JB. We spent the day here messing around with a cricket ball. We even found a piece of bamboo to use as a bat! It was really fun. The sea was very choppy, but I had a little swim out, and got whistled back to shore by the lifeguard even before I was unable to touch the ocean floor, I thought that was a little OTT. Afterwards we drove to the highest point in Visakhapatam, (I forget its actual name) and I was very impressed by the view from up there. With it being such a clear day you could see for miles all around. In the distance was the biggest shipping dock in Andhra Pradesh (The state we were in). This became our next destination. We were planning to go on a boat trip, but that got scrapped because it started to piss it down. After hearing the news from earlier it was probably for the best I think 

This was the end of our journey to Visakhapatam, so we all piled back into the crammed car, got the whiskey and thums up back out, and had a repeat evening of two days prior. We were to pick Majid up from the airport at 7am the next morning, its about time Pak-man joined me, someone else for the Indians to bully.

Hyderabad City Stories

Last night we went for some food at a local restaurant and had a few kingfisher beers. On the way home we ran into some friends of Krishna and the boys, who were having their own little festival. If you remember me mentioning before about the big trucks with the statues and music playing, that was exactly what was going on here too. Although, these guys were making their own music with drums. We stopped to say hi, but this ended up in the drunken locals wanting us to stay and dance. After I had been introduced, I was dragged away for a dance with everyone, it was good fun until they stopped the music, backed everyone away, and told me to dance on my own! I felt like a right nob head, haha! When we got back to Krishna’s, a huge thunderstorm took place. It reminded me of my time spent at camp in New Hampshire.

The next day we went to drop a car and some rice off at Krishna’s uncles, to get back home we went by motorbike. Now this seemed scary as hell at first, as I had seen first hand from a cars perspective how dangerous riding on a bike on Indian roads can be! But as usual – when in Rome! It ended up being good fun, and I couldn’t stop thinking that I was in real life grand theft auto! Grand theft auto Hyderabad city stories. Another common sight on the roads in India were random cows roaming the streets, doing what they may. Cows are sacred animals in India and no-body cares what they do.

Later that day I was asked by the local kids to play some cricket with them. They were really good, way better than I was J. The rest of the day was spent preparing our next two days, we plan to drive to the coast (I’m not sure which one?) and chill there until we need to drive back to Hyderabad to collect Majid at the airport on Sunday.